Shift From Being "Perfect" to "Present" this Holiday Season
The sounds of the holiday season are upon us (or have been since October with holiday music on the radio and commercials advertising the best gifts to give)! While any holiday season (whether now or another time of year you celebrate) is often associated with joy and togetherness, it can also bring about stress and overwhelm. Balancing festive celebrations with everyday responsibilities can be challenging, but with a mindful approach and intentional planning, you can make the holiday season less stressful and more enjoyable.
If you are on a mission for holiday tradition without going over the edge of despair, here are some tips for how to stay present and engaged (without focusing so much on perfection) to get the most out of however you celebrate:
1. Make a list (and check it twice).
Contrary to our initial thoughts, this is the fun part! Time to create your Why List: what gives purpose to the traditions and activities you want to create and participate in this holiday season. Write down your answers to the following questions:
What are the values you want to instill throughout this holiday season that you don’t want to lose sight of? Is it: Gratitude? Generosity? Peace? Hope? Joy? Relaxation?!?!
What traditions exemplify these values? Who are you with? What are you doing?
Tip: Not all traditions or activities need to be big. Sometimes it’s the small, simple pleasures that mean the most. For example, my family has a tradition of watching A Garfield Christmas from the 80’s because it reminds my husband of his childhood and now this is a favorite for our children!
Once you’ve made your list:
Be realistic about what you can accomplish – not only with time but also with budget (how much are you willing/able to spend this holiday season?)
Prioritize the traditions or events you want to take place
Focus on what truly matters to you and your loved ones and forget about the rest
2. Make it Happen!
Once you’ve got your Why List, begin your holiday preparations well in advance. Start planning out what it will take to make it happen:
The What: For each tradition or activity, what needs to take place?
The When: Pull out your calendar and look at when this most likely can occur (taking into account what you may already be committed to in your everyday responsibilities).
The Where: Where will each tradition or activity take place?
The Who: Who else is involved in the process or invited for this experience?
Once you have all your details:
Spread tasks over several weeks before the activity or event to alleviate last-minute stress
Create a checklist for each day or week to stay organized and track your progress
Delegate tasks! Share responsibilities with family and friends like cooking, decorating, or organizing events. Embrace the spirit of collaboration and recognize that everyone can contribute to creating a joyful holiday experience (so you can enjoy it too!)
3. Practice the Art of No.
Aside from what you’re already planning, there are going to be invitations from others for holiday festivities. Be selective about the events and activities you commit to. It's okay to decline invitations and prioritize your well-being. Overcommitting can lead to exhaustion and diminish the joy of the season.
If you are unable to accept an invite that you wish you could:
Immediately express gratitude that they thought of you to spend time with during this busy season and regret that you won’t be able to make it;
Postpone the get together by making plans to spend time together in the New Year; or
Make an alternative plan that could work for your schedule (e.g., say no to the party but make plans to get together for a coffee the following week)
For some events, you have no desire to go or feel the need to make up for it. If that’s the case:
Set boundaries. By creating your Why List, you have made decisions around where you want to spend your time and what you value this season. If an invite does not meet this criteria, this makes it easier to decline.
Respond quickly. If you immediately know it is an automatic no, say so. It’s better to let someone know right away you are declining their invitation instead of making them wait on you. Free up their time just like you are freeing up yours.
Keep it general. You don’t need to give a specific reason for saying no. Craft a general response so you don’t feel the need to make something up or lie (e.g., “I won’t be able to make it, but I appreciate the invitation. Have a great time!”).
4. Stay in the Moment.
It is very easy getting caught up in trying to make everything “perfect.” To change your mindset from being “perfect” to being “present”:
Prioritize self-care. Ensure you get enough rest, maintain a healthy diet, and make a plan for exercise. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally allows you to better handle the demands of the season.
Choose quality over quantity. Too many festivities can be draining, which does not leave you at your best to truly celebrate and live in the moment. Give yourself enough time in between to recuperate and reenergize.
Practice mindfulness. Whether through meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply being present in the moment, mindfulness can help reduce stress and remember the “why” to focus on what’s truly important.
Embrace Flexibility. Understand that not everything will go as planned, and that's perfectly okay. Adopt flexibility and be open to adjustments. Spontaneous moments can often become the most cherished memories!
Bottom Line:
By adopting a mindful and intentional approach to the holiday season, you can transform this time of year into a period of joy and celebration rather than stress and anxiety. Remember that the true essence of the holidays lies in the connections we make and the moments we share with those we care about.
If you are an organizational leader: Plan ahead for the workload to ensure your employees are able to enjoy the holiday season, limiting overtime or allowing time off. Even if this is your company’s busy season, talk with your employees to understand what is truly important to them during this holiday season to try and accommodate their personal plans if possible.
Everyone deserves time to enjoy the winter magic the season has to offer. Happy Holidays in however you choose to celebrate and wishing you the best start to the coming new year!